As a parent, you know that when you want your child to do something, despite the fact they have done it a million times before, they will point blank refuse. This happens from a very young age, or at least it did for me. I’d sing and dance about how Molly could grasp her toys at 3 months old, only for her to not do it in front of any other person for a couple of weeks at least. I’d shout from the rooftops that Aoife could hold her own sippy cup at 6 months old, but hey ho, no one else was to see this new trick until nearly 7 months old. If I want them to smile for the camera, they won’t, but the minute my camera memory is full, they’re all poses and grins that challenge the Chesire Cat.
The minute I realised I needed to bite the bullet and take Aoife to get her passport photos done, I knew my little diva was going to challenge me. Singing, smiling and dancing we made our way over to Liverpool City centre. She was in a lovely mood and I dared believe it might go smoothly. Boy was I wrong. We stood her in front of the screen in the photography shop and instantly her chin pressed against her chest and she refused to even look at the camera. The rules for passport photos are pretty strict so I needed her to play ball. In that moment, I had what is possibly my worst parenting moment yet. I bribed her. I didn’t just bribe her a little, I promised her cakes, chocolate, toys, the playground, ice cream and a number of other things that I thought just may get her to look up for at least a moment while the photographer clicked away. I don’t know what was worse, the fact that I reeled out a list of bribes as easily as I did, or the fact that she totally ignored said bribes, and just grumpily shouted “NO”.
I was at a point where I was out of ideas. Thankfully her daddy was with us for the day. I asked if he would stand behind the photographer and dance or sing or anything to get her to look. I looked back at Aoife and it clicked! MAKE UP! The girl always tries steal my make up bag and is constantly asking for “lit-stick”. I grabbed my make up bag out and passed it to her daddy who proceeded to pull items out and ask her what they where and if she wanted them. She lifted her head and started to talk back, naming products even her daddy didn’t know. The photographer started clicking away and after about 5 minutes of make up talk and 50 pictures, managed to get a picture that was perfect for her passport. HURRAH!
We made our way to the till to pay and get the prized picture, at which point I felt I better excuse my mummy fail and announce how the bribery may have been my worst parenting moment to date. The man laughed and proclaimed “you got played”. Yes! Yes I did get played! And in all honesty, if he hadn’t informed me of it, I think I still wouldn’t have realised to this day. So yes, we have hit a point in life where my two year old tot can play me. And not only play me, but play me in public. I really don’t have anything else to say about that if I’m honest, so I’ll leave it there and send Aoife with daddy next time any situations similar arise. She’s played him since the day she was born, so at least he is used to it.
I thought I had a while before the make up stage started!
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